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In light of our countries’ financial crises, I think that it is a good time to sit back, relax (as much as possible), and evaluate your relationship with money. 

You are probably wondering what I am talking about and how you can possibly have a “relationship” with money since it is an inanimate object.  When I think of the word “relationship,” I think of a dynamic belief system and style of interaction.  The foundation of your relationship with money, like so many other relationships, was established during your childhood years.  For example, was it readily available or was it withheld?  Was money used to reward “good” behavior, alley guilt (I couldn’t come to your game/recital, etc., but I bought you this gift), or to establish control?

The beliefs that you develop during your childhood years impact your self-esteem, as well as the relationships you develop with others.  I often see individuals who measure their self-worth by the amount of money they are able to make.  This could lead to a “workaholic” tendency and never feeling “good enough.”  When asked about the main stressors in a relationship, money is among the top 3 (along with sex and children).  Oftentimes, individuals in a relationship have different experiences with money growing up and different styles of managing money.  For example, one person wants to save every penny, while the other believes that money is meant to give access to material objects and enjoy him or herself.  Relationships with friends are also affected.  Does anyone remember the episode of “Friends” in which Rachael, Phoebe and Joey clashed with Monica, Ross and Chandler about how they spent time and money?

So, in evaluating your relationship with money, the first step is increasing your awareness.

·         Identify your core values and beliefs and how they relate to money.

·         Talk to your partner about your core values and beliefs.  Listen to what s/he has to say.  Use empathic listening to make sure that you understand each other.

·         Identify common beliefs and where you differ.

·         Decide where compromise is an option and when you can agree to disagree.

·         When you spend money, ask yourself questions – why is this important to me, what am I hoping to get out of this, etc.

It appears to me that people are experiences hope and a sense of relief over the past month or so.  If this is the case for you, great.  If not, pay attention to the possible symptoms of financial stress.  These include, but are not limited to:

·         Depression

·         Heightened anxiety

·         Irritability and anger

·         Alienation or decreased communication with partner.

If you find that you are experiencing symptoms of financial stress

·         Talk to supportive friends and/or family.

·         Maintain community ties through religious organizations, school or civic groups.

·         Evaluate your spending habits.

·         Develop a budget.

·         Check into lowering credit card interest rates, consolidating debt, or setting up payment plans when available (don’t forget that you can do this for most anything, including medical bills.

·         Practice relaxation strategies.

·         Seek the professional advice of an accountant, financial planner or banker.

·         Talk to your psychologist or other mental health professional!

For more information on Managing Your Stress in Tough Economic Times, visit the American Psychological Associations (APA) website at http://www.apahelpcenter.org/articles/article.php?id=171.